Rising Above

The question I constantly find myself asking (and would like to ask more often) is how can I rise above everything?

I came across this exhortation, 'rise above it all', when I was pursuing my masters course. At that point, I did not know what it meant to rise above everything. In particular Satishchandra Kumar, my professor, spoke of how one might need to go above and beyond one’s job description to get something done. Hence, a government employee who might strictly follow the bureaucratic process might, for once go out of his or her way to help some hapless person. Or, it might include, an executive doing a little extra for another colleague or a project or one's company- going beyond what the stated requirements of one's job role are.

When I heard Jo Chopra speak at the Achieve Together Conference, in Delhi in 2014, she shared a story about how there are two wolves inside us- one being a ‘good’ wolf and the other being the ‘bad’ one. What we become at the end of our lives is the result of which wolf we choose to feed. Simply stated, this story is similar to the ‘rising above’ that I first heard during my masters. It’s a choice one makes- to feed the better wolf or to go beyond. Both of these statements describe a choice-a better choice. Choosing the 'good' over 'bad'. 

In my intimate relationships, whenever I am faced with a new situation, which could lead to potential conflicts, I ask myself- “How am I to water this plant today so that it grows into the kind of tree that I want several decades later?” Is what I am going to say, helping the situation or only making it worse? Am I adding fuel to the fire? Am I responding to this situation as a child or as an adult? (Am I, therefore, feeding the good wolf or the bad one?)

When faced with a child you have caught lying, would you strictly follow the rules and punish the child or go beyond the rules and examine why the child told a lie in the first place? Would you stop yourself from saying something, you know will aggravate the situation or say what you have to say terming it ‘the bitter truth’? Will you, be the ‘bigger person’ and extend a hand of friendship or lose the relationship? Will you compliment your adversary or support your competition? Will you push someone forward despite the risk of being left behind? Will you give in or will you get out? Will you, therefore, rise above? 

It is never easy to go through these thoughts rationally especially when emotional and the first response seems like the best one at the time of conflict but then, is a heightened emotional state valid reason to lose sight of the vision of that beautiful tree or a good wolf?

The easiest thing to do, I imagine, is to not get into a conflict at all. Stay low, stay away or keep making peace so that there is never a conflict (which is often an impossible, unrealistic and unhealthy option.) Brush it all under the carpet, like they say.

Or face conflict calmly and with foresight, going through those onerous questions and making that one response that takes the conversation, relationship or situation to another level- a higher level hopefully, because you, chose to rise above it all!