On Sugar Paper

I know how I want to die. I am very afraid of death and still get a bit superstitious about it (yes, this post has been edited several times!) Just recently RD called me to inform me of her father's death. She told me that her father had been diagnosed with brain cancer and he had chosen to not go through any treatment. In the months that he had he prepared them for his death. This post is not going to be about the physical aspect of my death but the emotional and mental aspect of it. I guess I want to die making everyone feel that I have lived enough. The problem as I see is not of the one who has died- the dead are on an adventure of their own. It's the ones who they leave behind that are filled with regret, sadness and a sense of loss. In order to leave others happier when I die, (maybe not 'happy' but at least not distraught) this is what I will do: 1. Tell people how happy and appreciative I am of my life. I don't want people to think that my life is sad and I...

Leo Tolstoy, in his manifesto, advices himself to live the same even if he becomes ten times richer. I asked a few people what they would do if they became ten times richer and these were the responses I got: a. shift to a 100 percent organic life. b. retire c. take care of my nephews and nieces d. pay back the loan on my house e. travel the world f. start my own business The first response in this list is mine. So, what would you do if you got ten times richer? Same slow and peaceful life!  

I am on my first solo trip of my life. I chose Kota Kinabalu in Eastern Malaysia to be the place where I would continue to challenge myself. It has been two days and I have been having a great time. But here's the thing. I just find it unbelievable that all I have to do is think of which place I am going to visit next.  There is nobody waiting for me. No email waiting for a response (yeah, one), no work waiting to be done, nothing to worry.  I don't remember the last time I experienced this. At the moment, I am sitting by the sea and I am completely alone- there are a few birds, butterflies and a gentle breeze for company. And lots and lots of healing time for my mind.